Sometimes it’s hard to decide what to do, or what direction to take life in. And at the current moment I am absolutely confused on what direction to take. On one hand, I continue my studies, (which can take 6-8 years to finish) or I can get a job. One of the jobs I applied for tonight (which hopefully I will get, at least I think I have a good chance of getting it) pays $120,000.00 a year. Right now I don’t know what to do, and I’m doubting every option I have. Be it working or studying. If I take this job, it means I walk away from studying and eventually establishing a career in something I am passionate about. But if I turn down this job, I am missing out on $120k a year, I can’t just walk away from that kind of money.
Lately I have been thinking quite a lot. Isn’t it funny how things seem to fall together in life? Some of the things we are or were either so against, or thought we’d never want, can turn out to be some of the things we need or want most in our life. And even thought all along people have tried to show us this, we can’t come across this realisation until we for ourselves, on our own discover this need or want.
And my head is spinning. Just thinking about all of this. I think at one point, we have to distinguish between a dream, and what is actually attainable. Now I know that people always say the sky is the limit, but I think sometimes we have to be a little realistic with what can actually happen.
So here it is, my confession. I want that dreary desk job, in fact I think I am looking forward to it (not like that feeling will last). Nothing wrong with stability, and I want 100% financial stability. Buying my own house, and being in a committed relationship. As terrifying as commitment is, I think deep down, everyone needs somebody to love.
I think I am ready to grow up, it’s a scary thought… But I think I’m almost there, now I just need time on my side.