2013

First month of 2013 is almost over, can you believe it?! I know I can’t. Last year went so fast, it all seems like a blur. Especially the last few months. Between November and where we are now, so much has changed. Not only did I end up dating Carol, we ended just as unexpectedly as we started. But Carol is the least of my concerns at the moment. I have left my dad’s place, which in the long run is great but something feels wrong. I don’t miss being around him, because he was an asshole, but I just feel uneasy all the time. In the new place I’m at it’s great, I’m surrounded by people who care and love me, but for some reason I feel more alone and isolated than ever before. The days either drag on, or speed up and just sort of turn into a massive blur. I find myself spending more of my days laying around in bed or on the couch, and less and less talking to friends (not that any of my friends really care enough to see me) or going out. I’m always tired, not to mention the fact I have gained 5kg and lost the majority of muscle and definition. I think I’m stuck in a rut, or maybe this is what I’m meant to be.

To give you all an idea of what my day consists of (which isn’t much) here is what I did today:

11am – Woke up, watched porn. Went back to sleep.
12:30pm – Went up stairs, had lunch. Laid on the couch.
1:00pm – Had a shower, more porn. Back to the couch.
5:30pm – Ordered dinner.
6:00pm – Back to the couch, watched movies.
12:00am – Got up, went to bed.
1:30am – Started to write this blog. Thinking about porn.

Apart from the uneventful day, the sad thing is, it’s an effort to watch porn. Maybe I just need a good nights sleep and attempt this blog thing in the morning.

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